Today Would Be Dad's Birthday

Today, January 29, was my dad's birthday. He passed away last August though. My mother nor my sister told me he had passed away August 11th. I found out through my then fiance via the Internet on August 23rd. I can't believe it's been 5 months and 18 days since he's been gone but it has. Today he would have been 70. To me, that's still pretty young. He worked until he died. Maybe that was his problem. But for me, my biggest problem is that in my mind he's still alive but in reality he is not. I never said good-bye and maybe that's why he's still alive to me. I was never invited to the funeral and haven't spoken to my mother or anyone else in my "family" since. I will never forgive them for never telling me. The internet has got to be the worst way to find out you lost a loved one. I don't want to write about it anymore. It makes me sad to remember how I felt days after finding out.

Tata for now. 

Dreary Mondays Work

It's Monday. Dreary Monday. Dark clouds have settled over the mountains and rain threatens but haven't seen it actually happen. I was up late last night watching Netflixs' Battlestar Gallactica, the pilot. My husband insisted. The opening was a drag but it eventually got pretty psychologically intense. I went to bed around midnight and around 4AM, a deep pain in my stomach awoke me. I don't think I went back to bed until 5:30ish. It wasn't until 11:44 til I awoke again. Gotta love the days where you sleep halfway through.

I didn't begin work until noon practically. I got my eBay shipments out, I sold something for $60 but was only able to keep $45. It kind of sucks, but I wouldn't be able to sell it any other way. USPS costs a lot of money. Need to figure out ways to drastically reduce my output. 15% of my sales is USPS and 9% eBay. However, I just became a Power Seller and eBay says that reduces my Final Value Fees by 20%. I work hard to make supplemental income. I am trying to de-clutter this house but it doesn't seem to make any headway. It's weird how much we have and yet we feel we have nothing. My husband and I have plenty of assets, but low on cash. I don't sell anything online that makes me pay to list it. I just wait until they are free; not because I am "cheap" but because I don't know if the item would sell first time around. Sometimes my items don't sell until the fourth run and if I paid for those listings, that would be costly. Anyhow, looks like I've been able to make $434 so far which isn't much at all but it's a few bill payments for sure.

You may be thinking, why don't you go find work? Well, I have but at the moment it's hard for me to land a job. I know I'm not alone in that but with business employers unsure of their futures, hiring is minimal, even when they advertise it. So, I work here at the house next to my two puppies. Right now, I'm working on uploading every single 2012 Receipt we saved to Quicken database and calculating our sales taxes paid so that we can deduct that from our tax bill. It's very tedious to go through every single one but it is extremely necessary and important that everything is calculated for when we input it into HR Block or whatever e-file system.

I'm also doing some legal work for my husband and watching TV. Yes, I can multitask. It's good for the mind to keep it busy as possible and away from any emotional feelings. I need to wear it out more later tonight, possibly head to the gym or walk the puppies, depends on this weather.

Anyway, tata for now.

Fez Creations

This is my second day completely away from Facebook and other social media platforms. I have actually started receiving e-mails that isn't 40% off of Michaels or 25% Barnes and Noble junk. While that's nice to have, it gets old when no "real" messages come in. It's almost pointless to have an e-mail address except for "signing up" for stuff. However, I've received e-mails from two people so far. One of my friends had said he quit facebook too because his friends back home in Ohio had gotten into a Facebook war with him about why he's "anti-political". Before Facebook, they were friends. Now they are blocking each other from any communications. Facebook is the ultimate way of losing friends for sure. I was happy I got someone to quit facebook. Maybe it will be a chain reaction. Doubt it, but it will take time for people to realize it messes up their life and consumes their precious time.

Speaking of precious time, I drew an image from Google search of "Fez World". The link shows the exact image I was attempting to draw. But before I go into my drawing, let me tell you about Fez. Fez is an Indie Game which is based on Zelda, Tetris and Mario themes by its creators. It is a puzzle arcade indie game in which the main guy, Gomez, has to collect 32 cubes to rebuild what was destroyed. I think Fez is really creative and aesthetically pleasing to the eye. and didn't realize how bad I am at drawing. I used to be really good though. I am out of practice and it's a skill I think I lost due to computers. Here's my drawing below:

I was limited to Sharpies and Crayons. I didn't have the colors the gamer used at all. For some reason my pink outlines on the doors appear red when scanned. Not sure why that happened. Either way, this is what my drawing looked like and as you can see it's dated yesterday. I think I need to add to it but I'm not sure what... Or maybe give it a background. I'll figure it out later, I'm on to creating Super Meat Boy. 

Today, I Quite Facebook

I didn't know why I felt the way I felt at times throughout the day or how one minute I could feel good about myself and my actions and the next, feel a bit unsure and weary. It never occured to me until I read a few articles online about the affects of Facebook and other social media platforms. I knew from the get-go I hated Twitter. There was nothing but negative people on there who hated someone else. I never read funny or nice things and if I did, I completely saw them the way I see a UFO in the sky or whatever, which is like never.

Now, I can see Facebook like an anti-depressant drug that doesn't work, or works but has side affects which are worse than the "condition" that you are treating. The "news feed" became cluttered, especially on my page. I had mostly seen posts done by my subscribed pages. Those pages became hateful and some of the commentary was extremely offensive. The comments weren't always directed towards me, but just because a person has a different opinion doesn't give anyone the right to talk about blowing heads off. The way I see it is before Facebook, people had friends - real friends. Real friends are people who call you, text you, go out with you and socialize with you in public settings. Fake friends are on facebook. I only had about 163 friends, but I realized I didn't like some of those friends when I saw their opinions posted. Then I realized how shallow I had become and that no other opinion matters but my own. It's not the way the world works and if these generations of users believe this is the proper way to act, then Facebook is going to be a major cause of why this nation fell apart.

My step-daughter who is 12 doesn't use Facebook. She never cared for it and for a long time, I was worried she wasn't being social. I don't think she uses any media platforms, except Instagram. Does that count? All she does is make and take photos. But it's not a bragging-rights platform - it's strictly sharing. I think. I do see that she has more friends than ever now and they go out almost every weekend to do things. I must say it makes me a bit envious because with Facebook I lost friends. I want to bring back face-to-face interaction. So what if our feelings are hurt by REAL people, at least they are in our face telling the truth. Maybe we'll become greater friends because we see that they have feelings and we cherish their opinions. For some reason, a computer screen makes people forget that humans are on the other side. And I'd hate to see Facebook be the reason anyone would think of suicide or actually commit it because of a comment a person made without thinking twice. I'm sure it has happened, but it won't happen in my book.

I had four major friends on facebook that I spoke to every day - well, "typed" to. I never had their phone numbers or knew where they live since they were in all different areas. However, I didn't think these people were a major part of my life. I barely even knew what they looked like. I only connected with them because we shared the same political opinion. However, opinions shouldn't really make us friends. It's the social, every-day activities that makes us friends and how we treat one another.

So, I'm done. I will find other things to do with my time but I finally figured out how to get Facebook off of my phone since there was no "Uninstall" - as if my Android was forcing me to keep it. Yet, I went into the Applications settings and selected "disable" and now I don't see it or have to be reminded of it. So, it's gone. It's a relief.